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Politically incorrect view of Eurobasket

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  • Politically incorrect view of Eurobasket


    Probably they had to play with a mixed selection of the U-16, U-18, U-19 and U-20 players who spent the summer winning everything that could have ben conquered. At the last international meeting the SCG, that lost the CG remaining only S, defeated only Lebanon (those who lost against Iran) and Venezuela (those who are losing against every-one at the Tournament of Americas). Nothing more. In Serbia they decided to have a clever press secretary, so they asked to Darko Milicic to talk with medias, etc. The key is here, because normally Milicic is somebody who should remain silent, to work as woodcutter somewhere in Canada. Serbs could choose Jaric, and at the end they said "ok, it's much better Darko...". Honour to Gurovic's tattoo.

    Let's be honest, they trust in Monia and Khryapa. Let's be honest, Monia and Khryapa are two idiots. So, long time ago, Putin thought "I need someone much more stupid than Monia and Khryapa, so observers of the Old Russian Bear can have a different target". This explains why J.R. Holden has received Russian citizenship. Anyway Russians are pretty quite, they have Samoilenko as back-up... since Holden is Russian the per capita amount of vodka in the country increased of the 200% (against Holden the only solution is the bottle. In a double way, throwing at him on court is also accepted).
    They averaged a -43 in preparation games, including the +18 against Italy: today basketball changed, 100 points margin victories are normal (Armenia Under-16, Romania Under-18, etc... without being even able to understand it, you can lose a game 163-55). One of the best players in preparation has been Nikita Morgunov: this should been very explicative, right?

    Now, after two years, it's possible to admit it: if Diamantidis would have not scored the buzzer beater against France and Rigaudeau would have not emulated the Papaloukas' 1/6 in the last minute of the 2001 barrage game vs Germany, Greece wouldn't be in Spain as "European Champion" but as "2005 4th placed team". History says that Greece has always played 3rd place finals with a lot of endurance (in the 90s, when they played well a "little final", they were defeated only by 65). This is worth for everyone who says: "Greece is unbeatable". They are strong, ok, not unbeatable.
    One month ago someone in Athens told "hey, are there Olympic Games again in the town? The Zeppelin is flying again on our sky!". It was Shortsanitis on his terrace. Actually Fotsis broken his finger and he might miss the Eurobasket (and that's a real problem, because Fotsis is the only true talented player of Greece), the last hope is Diamantidis. If Spain has Navarro, two free throws even if someone breathes close to him, Greece has Diamantidis. If Diamantidis, 2 m., without jumping blocks Marconato, 2.10 m., grabbing one elbow, one kidney, one ear and three vertebrae, Marconato should be awarded with two free throws. In a normal world...

    FYROM, Israel or BiH???
    Last edited by Big Lebowski; 08-30-2007, 10:49 AM.
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  • #2
    Israel Big Lebowski Israel.


    • #3
      very insightful and funny. One of the best posts on this forum lately. Keep it coming
      My blog about european hoops


      • #4

        the best. post. EVER.

        please do the same with other groups.


        • #5
          Originally posted by Big Lebowski
          FYROM, Israel or BiH???
          Lithuania, please!


          • #6
            Group B

            Latvians, for some strange reasons, played in the football Euro2004 (the strange thing is they managed to reach the 2nd place in the group, not that they defeated Turkey). At the EB2001 - how to forget it! - in the barrage they eliminated Lithuania and the day after someone - a genius - left some flowers in front of Lithuanian embassy in Riga with a paper... "to celebrate the death of Lithuanian basketball". If the whole population of the country is like these examples, they deserve at least a medal. Till some years ago they had the only serious European point-guard. He wasn't a great champion, but a good player and a serious person: Igor Miglineks. Everyone remembers his lobs for tall players at the EB2001, a Eurobasket that has not so many great memories in archive: the free-throws friendship between Papaloukas and Nowitzki ("be quite, man, I'm going to miss it so you'll win", "no, now I'm going 0/2 so you'll advance to the quarters", etc.), Scepanovic MVP of the final, the regular walk of Turkey till the silver medal... unfortunately, Igor the Great was already 50 years old at that time and now he's just a coach, in Cyprus. On court, now Latvia has the most disequilibratred players of the continent. They play a "Surfin' Bird" basketball, like the 1963 Trashmen's song (listen it and understand what I mean). It seems that Latvian BB federation asked Zare Markovski to become coach of the squad, but the Fyromian coach answered "thanks, but it would be too much...".

            The Spanish organization, drawing the groups and giving to the hosts two strong opponents like Portugal and Latvia, weren't glad at all: "Croatia isn't that bad at all". After having tried to change the result, replacing Croatia with Czechia or Poland - since the absence of Monaco, San Marino, Greenland and Mount Athos - Spaniars tried new tactics: firstly, the forced Girigek to fight with his former wife, so the poor forward is now victim of the stalking of the ex spouse. Then they called the same friends of Tonya Harding, American figure skater who broke a knee to Nancy Kerrigan before an important competition some years ago. Other Croatian players didn't need that, following a certain Balcan mentality, "don't break my balls, I'm year under the sun of Krk... Eurobasket what?". Croatia played friendly games against strong teams (Vatican: seven Swiss Guards, two priests, the sister who poisoned Pope Luciani, Navarro Valls, one official stamp-likers of the Vatican Postal). At the 6th second of the first game, Popovic - true protagonist of Croatia-Spain 2005 - will be charged with four technical fouls, three life-imprisonments, two hangings and one stoning. Referees of the Spain-Croatia game will be George W. Bush, an Imrali jailer and the judge of Saddam Hussein's process. Best team member is Marino Bazdaric: let's not say more...

            The "Lusitania" didn't have a great destiny. A day, maybe, we'll know why Britishmen decided to call a ship of theirs "Lusitania"... probably it belongs to the well known "British humor". Of course Portugal is the "simpathy squad" of Eurobasket, to whom they return after 418 years of absence (it's like Fatima). The last well known Portuguese player was a certain Carlos Lisboa Santos, who had a great season with Benfica Lisboa (Euroleague 1995-96). Of course, if he would have played with Porto, his name would have been Carlos Porto Santos. In that tournament this genius, averaging 31 minutes per game, tried 36 two-pointers (58%) and 162 three-pointers (34%). Holden, after having read his stats, went to a library to find the Santos' biography. Anyway, future belongs to Portugal and Lusophone countries: Angola won for the 40th time in a row the AfroBasket, but the biggest surprise was the 3rd place (and Pre-Olympic tournament) of Cape Verde. Go Portugal (the best country in the whole world where you can be invited for dinner or lunch).

            Who di hell were Bird, Magic, Jordan, Barkley? Some basketball freaks... Spain is unbeaten since the 2005 3rd place final (-76 against France). In 2006 they dominated a iron group with Angola, Japan, New Zealand, Panama and Germany. Then they defeated SCG (they lost vs Nigeria too), Lithuania (coming from the game with Italy, which both team wanted and tried to lose till the last second), Argentina (ok, good game), Greece (Tsartsaris some days ago waken up and told "hey, when are you going to play the final?").
            A part a tournament in Singapore, they have played thousands of friendlies at home: it means Spanish beds, Spanish food, Spanish toilets, Spanish waitress, Spanish music (Heroes del Silencio), Spanish lockers. Let's remember the EB2005: Garbajosa in some games had double digit free throws. Garbajosa, who in Toronto had not a free throw for 76342 consecutive minutes. Spain tried 26.3 free throws more than the opponents (but Navarro, oh yes, drives like no-one else...) and were sanctioned with 18.7 fould more than the Spaniards. Navarro tries, Popovic sneezes, two free throws. "Hey, it's just a cold!". Technical foul, ejection, stoning. Navarro... the one who'll play in Memphis (buy-out paid by Gasol...).
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            • #7
              (me parto)

              No comments


              • #8
                And Haka dance before the match. Apparently it freaks them out.


                • #9
                  GROUP C


                  Dirk Nowitzki isn't like Galis for various reasons: Germany won a EuroBasket in 1993, while Greece before Galis was 3rd, in a tournament won by Egypt, which Turkey was 4th, the Netherlands 5th, Syria 6th and Lebanon 7th... Ok, there was some good circumstances for Germans: one of these, Mr. Detlef Schrempf (the true first-one-there, and who cares if he studied basketball in the USA). Then Yugoslavia wasn't at the tournament for the unfair sanctions, Croatia lost Petrovic few days before the championship, and the refs applied the same whistling-style of Greece '87. Dirk plays guitar, Nikos was a boxeur (as Prelevic knew that well). For some, Nowitzki is the best player all around the world. Galis has been considered the best of planet only by Bob McAdoo ("I've seen Galis doing things that I have not seen neither Lakers nor Celtics doing"). The truth says Nowitzki, alone - because he was alone - carried Germany to the tops in tournaments which there were all in: in 2001, if the tournament would have been disputed somewhere else, the final would have been Jugoslavija-Deutschland, and the duel Stojakovic-Nowitzki the most appreciated basketball vhs of the last decade. In front of Dirk, for class, behaviour, you've just to stand up for an ovation. And to feel a certain sorrow because Nowitzki has not normal team-mates, but people like Demirel, Schultze, Femerling, Hamann. Why did Germany lose two World Wars? Because their DNA is pretty bizarre. They give passports to everyone: Pesic, Bogojevic, Garrett, Nikagbatse, Bradley. Dirk is a great for this reason too: he could swear the German Federation and remain under the Ayers Rock for three months. No, he trusts. And he plays with Grunheid, playing guitar for Grunheid on the bus from the hotel to the arena. Simply a great...

                  Czech Republic
                  In 1999, everyone was surprised. Czechs slaughtered Lithuania, going to the 2nd round with the one-man-shows of Lubos Barton. After 8 years they are back. Probably at that time they didn't open so well the new cycle. Unfortunately, they are all like Barton (a player like Drejer, Maraker, etc.). In Rome, where they are true foxes, after some years decided to put the Danish players in the same role of Lubos). Believe it or not, former Czechoslovakia is the third European nation for awarded medals. More than Italy, Greece, Spain... only USSR and Yugoslavia achieved more. Their symbol are two, Milos Pavel and Ondrej Starosta: the first is still trying to understand which is his name ("hey mom, you asshole, what the hell is my name? Milos or Pavel?"). The second was considered a new Divac, maybe Olajuwoon or Abdul-Jabbar. He tried in the NBA, where if you are a seven-footer, you play (Tsakalidis plays in the NBA, let's not forget that). In the NBA he has been told to go home (strange, eh?). So he played in the 2nd Spanish division, after having reached some great achievements playing for Pepinster-Verviers. In his motherland he's the most popular Czech, in this special standings Jan Hus, Vaclav Havel, Pavel Nedved and Jan Palac are all beyond Starosta. Only four of the 18 selected players are under 2 meters: it explains why the football team forward team is Koller. It's impossibile to imagine that a country in which the ugliest woman is Petra Nemcova could have normal males... Interesting the name issue: "Czech Republic"? Some want a normal name for them (Czechs didn't find one in 15 years after the end of Czechoslovakia).

                  Since his arrive in Turkey, Tanjevic talks about "1993 born point-guards, 2.12m tall", or "1996 born forwards, 2.35m tall", or "2001 born center, 2.91m tall". At the end, he always call Kutluay in the team and every month the Turkish BBFederation finds someone to put in the team. Not in Turkey: the guy has a new name, a new birthplace, a new birthdate, so Ilyasova can dominate the under-16 EuroBasket. The last one is Ilyasova... from Uzbekistan. Can you imagine a father who a day wakes up, goes to the administrive bureau, says "I forgot to declare the birth of my son Erslan, can I do that now?", "yes, sure, when was the baby born?", "15 years ago". Marcelo Damiao met Erslan some days ago: "hey, I know you, you were in the photo-class with my grandfather!". After the Eurobasket 2005 Tanjevic wasn't so glad: "I've to talk with Turkoglu", he told. "I'll do that in Montenegrian, he can understand it much better than Turkish". They gave passports to Turkcan too (the one who was able to allow Kebu Stewart - hahahaha! - to average 40.5 points in the Russian championship semifinal series). Now they have Turkoglu. From Ankara we received these declarations: "if Germany gives nationality to awful players, why can't we do the same?". Neither Latvia or Russia have a group of retarded point-guards like Turkey has: in the world, only Brazil is worst (but because they have Nezinho, who is a pure one-man-show). Pretty curious the situation of Savvas: when he debuted in was 2.15m, then 2.10, now in the FIBA official website he's listed as 2.05; withing few years Erdogan will be taller than him.

                  Reading the rosters of the various teams, who is there, who is not there, Lithuania looks like pretty scaring, and strong (the sport is called basket-ball, and they can score, that's all. It's not necessary to be Phil Jackson to see that). "They can win the Eurobasket". Yes, that's simply the truth. Spain lost against Germany despite the 32-9 at free throws awarded): in an hypothetic final, Lithuania, even if santioned with 85 personal fouls, shooting a 60/68 from beyond the arc could win the game. Eurobasket 2007 means "Jasikevicius is back". Jasikevicius, the luckiest European player of the last decade. He won in Barcelona, because Pitsilkas, Bodiroga and Fucka were playing with him. He won in Tel Aviv, because Vujcic and Parker were playing with him, and (before) Gustas and (then) Fortitudo against. He dominated the US in Athens, becoming "the King of the World", a world who forgot that Casiano too was King of the World few days before. Lithuanians (normally very sober in basketball) believes him to be the best planet point-guard. Exactly as they were considering Macijauskas the best planet shooting-guard. In fact, they are going to wear together the Olympiacos colours... despite being a passionate people for basketball, somethimes Lithuanians aren't exactly equilibrated in their opinions. Seibutis and Kalnietis are already considered the dominating combo for the next 15 years, Andriuskevicius had a potential better than the Starosta's one. Actually, Janavicius is the new Isiah Thomas, without admitting that Janavicius, if he'll be lucky, could become the new Steve Hansell...
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                  • #10


                    • #11
                      its very fun to read this abt other contries and not very fun to read abt yours
                      Kicking around on a piece of ground


                      • #12
                        GROUP D

                        Polonia has been under the Jagellonian Dinasty for some centuries. It explains lots of thing about them (and it doesn't explain why in many foreign countries the "partitions of Poland" of the XVIII Century are studied). Poland best products are Zbigniew Boniek, Gregorz Lato, Adam Wojcik, Mickiewicz's "Konrad Wallenrod" and Prus' "Placòwka". Not so much, so the consequences are two barrel twins leading the country. Reading that Pluta is still playing for Poland, someone could think to be victim of a candid-camera. Maybe it's the son, or an omonymous man. No, he's the same Pluta, good point-guard seen 10 years ago in Spain. In Poland they act like Turks with the various Ilyasova: Pluta isn't born in 1974, but in 1941. Since he was born on the Oder-Neisse Line, and at that time the situation in this area was a little bit confused, at the anagraphic bureau they made some mistakes. The truth is the son of Pluta died of old age few years ago. Zapatero told "with Vatican I've already some troubles, so let's keep Poland out of our group"; that's why Spain will face Croatia and not Poland. Wojcik, let's say it, he's an excellent player, but he was a class-mate of Pluta and not all the opponents are like Bluthenthal (Fortitudo-Prokom, EL0607, Wojcik 21). Anyway, loving so much Wojcik, Turks composed their best hit in Turkish music history ("12 Dev Adam"). Anyway, he will meet Garri and Gigli: ok, Poland has some chances to advance to the 2nd round.

                        "Here's the talent", "best national team ever", "Starosta too is scared by Italy". Etc. Then "talent" started having traumatic and political problems, and the wedding with the Old Glories and the Shining Future. Bargnani has problems with his back, but probably he wouldn't be so hurt if he were the first offensive option of the team. After the second friendly game he told, with pure Roman accent, "ahò, it was better when I played with TJ Ford". Since the old men, Basile and Marconato, can't even stand up, and others, like Soragna and Mordente, can't take all the responsabilities of the squad, Belinelli became the squad go-to-guy. He went to the Summer League, 37 points at the debut, "steal of the draft" Americans say, he returns in Italy and keeps on playing as he did with the Summer Warriors. In Europe, it means defeat against the Svalbard Islands NT. That's because Belinelli is a no-autosufficient entity. His facial expression confirm that: he needs a staff of au-pair people who could help him in some activities like switching on/off an interruptor. He can't stay alone while opening or closing a tap. He cannot even make a trip alone on the lift. Bargnani without Belinelli, first game: 20 points in 20 minutes against Nowitzki, and Dirk blocked. Let's not say more.

                        Since 1991 France is a European power-house. And, since 1991, France won a silver (Sydney 2000, great achievement) and a bronze (Belgrade 2005, please read the stats about free throws). They are not a power-house, but a good team, and French fans - really nice people - know that: normally they know that France has some limits dans la balle-au-panier. If Janavicius would have been French, his fans would bee saying "ok, we have the new Steve Hansell, he will become an interesting point-guard for the Pro-B league".
                        The French main problems is racial: practically all French basketball players are coloured, all French good basketball players are white (Rigaudeau, Sciarra big surprise at the OG2000). Only Monsieur Longoria is a great, but don't ask him to recognize a 2-3 zone. France NT would have not had any problems in obtaining a Grand Slam at the World Championship. In Osaka. Diaw-Riffiod would have easily won the 100 meters race against Tyson Gay and the statue of Asafa Powell). But winning a medal at the EuroBasket is absolutely different (most of all if Aymeric Jeanneau will play more than 5 seconds per game).

                        Always achieved as "one of the most talented teams in Europe". Always achieved with 0 medals. Slovenia borns and dies with two players: Lakovic and Smodis. Everyone now knows about Lakovic: Obradovic considered him as an adoptive son, then he smashed him away. Neither him could stand anymore this "point-guard" (hahaha!). Who bought Lakovic? Barcelona, crating a back-court with Navarro, Basile and the Slovenian guy. What a strange thing they didn't win anything the last thing, despite the 800MLN euros budget. Then Obradovic wanted Becirovic, and everyday he was calling Spanoulis ("Houston, we have a problem", his words). Why did Hatzivrettas play 30 minutes in a Euroleague final? Answer: Sani. Let's talk about the same game, what are the reasons for CSKA's defeat? Andersen, ok, he played bad. Torres, ok, he's 40 years old and injured. Holden, ok, we know him. Smodis, a-ha, here we are! Smodis is a very calm person, when have we ever seen him nervous on court? A caress and he loses his problem, and after having been slaughtered by 62 years old Mike Batiste (and Smodis eyes were already similar to the Chikatilo's ones), Obradovic decided to finish him: Alvertis on court, and Smodis - who can play - became a perfect incapable). The best CSKA's weapon, in the game, became the best Panathinaikos' weapon. How many Eurobasket will be able to see in the future? 20-30, considering the average hope of life: something will happen, we'll see Germany winning again, we'll see some strange returns (Czechia too, Starosta a day will shine in basketball skies). Even Great Britain could, why not. If some new countries will born in Europe, they'll obtain a medal. Slovenia won't. Never. They are going to Spain will Jagodnik and Capin in the roster: every country that plays a EuroBasket with Jagodnik and Capin should be banned by FIBA for at least three years.
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                        • #13
                          I never saw more garbage in one place. And you call this good sense of humor?
                          Last edited by stuart; 08-31-2007, 11:05 PM.
                          UZEO SI TROFEJ MACVANE MACVANE MACVANE!!!


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Srle
                            I never saw more garbage in one place. And you call this good sense of humor?
                            He said the truth...
                            Last edited by stuart; 08-31-2007, 11:05 PM.


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Srle
                              I never saw more garbage in one place. And you call this good sense of humor?
                              Take it with a pinch of salt, brate!!!
                              Mi imamo svoga boga, on se zove Bodiroga.
                              Demetrious "Primo Gavrorum Malleus" Diamantidis

                              Thank you for all you have given me. 6*

                              Panathinaikos is not just a club. It's a religion.

                              When the OAKA foundations moved a couple metres



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